• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer
  • Safe Places
  • Let’s Connect
Trudy Lonesky

Trudy Lonesky

Stop Comparing | Start Loving

  • About
  • Blog
  • Podcast
  • Freebies

Be a Super Sleuth

March 7, 2020

“Mom, where are my shin guards?”

“Mom, do you know where my turn shoes are?” 

“Hey Mims (that’s what my 14 year old calls me), do you know where a charger is?”

My newest response? “Be a Super Sleuth!”

That phrase comes from a Disney Junior show called, “My Friends Tigger and Pooh” where a team consisting of Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore, Darby, and Buster go on sleuthing adventures and investigations throughout the Hundred Acre Wood. It resonates with my older children because they grew up watching this sweet little show. 

In parenting, the easy button isn’t always the best option. Giving into our kids when they’re throwing a tantrum in the middle of the candy aisle may make them quiet for the time being but what happens the next time we are in that very same aisle? Are we going to continue encouraging the tantrum or be the adult when it’s hard, set boundaries, and expectations?

The easy button and coddling feels good! It makes us feel accomplished in the realm of mommyhood. It allows us to be the hero in the eyes of our children. In a world where we are constantly comparing our kid’s science projects to someone else’s beautiful Pinterest worthy approach, we want to measure up. Keeping up with the Karens. 

Confession, up until my recent discovery of how I was raising my kids, I did practically everything under the sun for them. It wasn’t until I began listening to podcasts about helicopter and lawn mower parenting that I realized that I wasn’t doing my kids any justice by solving their every problem and filling their every need. My job is to equip, prepare, and encourage my children to navigate this big scary world on their own. I can’t be their side kick all the days of their lives and I absolutely don’t want to be. 

In Julie Lythcott-Haims book, “How to Raise an Adult” she talks about how parents over involve themselves to the point of following up on college interviews themselves, uprooting their lives to live near college campuses, and approaching professors to question their children’s grades. As parents we want to see our kids succeed so we go to great lengths to ensure they do so. Sometimes crossing boundaries and lines. In the process we aren’t equipping our children and empowering them to be their very own advocates. 

A recent epipheME (that’s what I call a personal revelation)…my oldest is 14, a freshman in high school, a perfectly capable human being. I was still making his lunch everyday before he went to school. I hadn’t given him the opportunity to make his own lunch. I wanted to have the satisfaction of making it, writing a perfect little inspirational quote for him to find each day, and feel super special in doing so. My excuse, he’s a vegetarian and there aren’t vegetarian options at school. I need to make sure he has something to eat. Reality…he is, and has been perfectly capable of making his lunch for quite some time. I NEEDED to let go of the reigns. Give my kids the tools to succeed, sit back, and PRAY that God work in and through my absence.

When I let go, I give my kids independence and an opportunity to figure things out on their own. An opportunity for self motivation and to be empowered by the decisions they get to make all by themselves, which my 14 year old applauded me for later. He said he was thankful that I was giving him space and an opportunity to figure things out on his own. 

So mama, I get it! I want to make things super easy for my kids. I don’t ever want them to feel like they are struggling, alone, or anxious or scared but when I give them the tools to navigate life’s throws, I give them an opportunity to celebrate their very own triumphs.

Recent Posts

Back to School Prayers for Your Children

August 4

Who are Kingdom Mamas?

March 25

Finding Your Happily Ever After

July 27

Two Weeks of Daily Inspiration


Get a set of curated scripture cards to use each
morning that will help you feel God’s love.

Footer

  • About
  • Blog
  • Podcast
  • Freebies
  • Safe Places
  • Let’s Connect


Copyright © 2022 Terms | Privacy

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsAccept
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.

SAVE & ACCEPT